Fujioka Haruhi the Three YearOld
by Kira's Loyal Follower
Summary: Haruhi accidently drinks a potion Nekozowa-senpai creates & turns into a three year-old! Chaos ensues while the members of the Host Club tries to change her back, & fights break out when each member vies for the cute baby's attention.
1. Big Trouble in Little Host Club

**Okay, this shall be my official first Ouran High School Host Club fanfic XD The plot: Haruhi accidentally drinks a potion created by Nekozowa-senpai, & turns into a three year-old! While the Host Club frantically searches for a cure, they also try to capture the attention of the cute baby, Haruhi.**

**Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own the masterpiece known as Ouran High School Host Club TT the genius Bisco Hatori does 3 the only thing I own is this plotline P **

"hello," **talking**

_hello_ **thinking**

Now, let's get one thing straight. We all know that a regular day at the Host Club is not normal at all compared to our boring & very average lives, but even the strange consequences of this particular day have thrown the Host Club themselves for a loop.

Hosting hours were over, and everyone has left for the day, except for the club, Kassanoda-kun, & Nekozowa-senpai. Sitting before them with her school uniform pooling around her now tiny body, was a baby. She had plump, pink cheeks, soft brown hair, & huge chocolate-colored eyes. Haruhi had turned into a three year-old.

**Kyoyo's POV**

"Okay, tell me once more how this…… complicated situation happened," I sighed as I stood there staring at Haruhi.

She was having trouble getting out of the confines of her now over-sized clothes. _Damn, she's so cute! I should have seen this coming when the twins had stolen Nekozowa-senpai's vile of aging potion-WAIT! How could I have possibly seen THIS happening. Time at the Host Club has taught me to be prepared for almost every possible problem when it come to dealing with Tamaki & the twins, but not even my father would have been prepared for this predicament!_

"Well," Kassanoda started out awkwardly, snapping me out of my train of thought, "I had just come over when club ended, to give Haruhi a flower I had planted in the gardening club, when Nekozowa-senpai had come crashing into me."

I glared over the rim of my glasses at the creepy senior, who instantly started to break into a sweat under my gaze.

"I-I-I was only running because those mischievous twins had stolen my aging potion!" accused the frightened Black Magic Club president. I then turned my death-glare towards Hikaru & Karou, who had turned their heads nervously in the other direction with angelic, yet guilty expressions.

"The only reason we stole Goth-boy's potion was because we wanted to see how it worked." they stated in unison rather calmly considering the situation at hand.

My gaze still upon them, I said in a mono-tone voice, "So you decided to pour the vile's contents into Haruhi's teacup?"

Their well thought-out & witty response this time was a simple, "Uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm………,"

_Bakas! Note to self, the next cosplay theme shall centered around twin girls…._

**End of Kyoyo's POV**

All the while this conversation was taking place, baby Haruhi had managed to get free of her cloth prison & stumble her way towards the group of handsome teen boys towering in front of her.

Well, tell me what you guys think of the first chapter XD AND QUICKLY! I need reviews! Please be gentle blushes & I hope you like it (hell, I hope you guys LOVE it!)


	2. Ranka is coming

**As promised, here is the next chapter XD to my little story. Also, I would like to personally thank these fellow fanfic authors who inspired and/or helped me while I was creating this story,**

**loretta537**** for giving me inspiration for this chapter with her many questions **

**Devvy-Chan**** for the rather enthusiastic review 3**

**Z.Brite**** I plan to make this chapter longer, & I promise that there will be more detail! I wrote the first chapter in the middle of the night, so I hope this one shall be as good as my last, if not better!**

**And last but not least, ****buloy** **XD** **I shall be eternally grateful to you, for the major help you gave me while I was writing it, not to mention the encouragement you gave me 3**

**In this chapter, I'm going to introduce an OC. Her name shall be Nakatsu Komari If anyone reads Hana-Kimi, you'll know where I got the names!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Ouran High School Host Club, nor do I own Ouran High School Host Club! goes off to cry in Tamaki's emo corner. **

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**Last Time:**

All the while this conversation was taking place, baby Haruhi had managed to get free of her cloth prison & stumble her way towards the group of handsome teen boys towering in front of her.

**Ranka's POV**

"Oi, Ranka-san! Good work today!" hollered one of my co-workers from the local gay-bar.

"See you tomorrow!" I effeminately called back as I flipped a lock of long hair behind my ear.

Walking down the street, wearing a long purple, floral skirt, I treaded quickly back home. While walking past shops and the local pedestrians, I heard the casual "hello," some friendly greetings, and even a few cat calls. I really did look like a woman with my red lipstick, lavender tank-top, & slim waist.

_Hhmmm…maybe Haruhi has cooked up something delicious for Papa to eat? OH! Whatever my darling daughter cooks is bound to be wonderful! I hope she's not staying out too late with those Host Club boys, _I thought in slight annoyance.

_Still…ever since those boys came into Haruhi's life, her world has expanded, and so many new doors that were once closed to her, are now open. She's getting a top-rate education, her goals are being accomplished, and most importantly…she's made very close friends._

Gazing off into the distance lost in thought, I almost missed several turns to the direction of my apartment building. I still managed to get there right before the sun set. The neighbor kids were playing in the parking lot just outside the front of the building when I walked up. I recognized a few of them, as Haruhi has baby-sat many of them before over the years.

"Konichiwa, Fujioka-san!" greeted a little girl with pig-tails, a blue sundress, and a yellow rubber ball.

"Konichiwa, Komari-chan!" I said, walking toward her.

Nakatsu Komari was a sweet child who always visits us during the weekend to play because her father and mother needed to work. Then she would be picked up by her father. Haruhi simply adored her. Komari was a quiet child of eight years. You could call her a mini-Haruhi! She would help cook lunch, take a nap or read a story-book while my daughter studied, then they would both go to the park or run errands.

"Komari-chan, how was school?" I inquired as I strode up the stairs, Komari following not far behind.

"We learned how to subtract three-digit numbers," she stated running on ahead of me.

"Demo, Haruhi wasn't here, so I couldn't tell her. She's never around anymore." Komari looked down, slightly saddened.

I patted her head, feeling a bit guilty. These were one of the draw backs with Haruhi joining the Host Club. Komari didn't get to see Haruhi as much as she used to. I even worry about her from time to time, when she isn't around. Always wondering, when that day will come, that one of those boys will take away my precious daughter… will I be able to let her go…?

"I'll see you tomorrow, Komari-chan," I bid her farwell, and she walked back down the stairs to the other children as I opened the door and walked inside.

I set down my purse on the kitchen table after kicking off my white sandals, than checked for messages on the phone. There wee none. _That's odd, usually Haruhi would leave me a message if she was going to be home late…_

I picked up the telephone and decided to dial Kyoyo's number. RING! RING! RING!…RING! RIN-

"Moshi-Moshi," answered a rather irritated male voice.

"Ah! Kyoyo-san! I just called to check and see if Haruhi is still at the Club. It's getting awfully late so I was wondering when she'd get home?" I sang into the phone.

There was a long pause after my question was asked, I almost thought that I lost connection when I heard his reply. "Gomenasai, Ranka-san, for not informing you earlier, but the Club had planned for a sleepover since midterms are coming. We all wanted to stay and study here. I was sure that Haruhi would have told you."

_Yes, why wouldn't Haruhi tell me about this? Usually she won't stop telling me about the crazy antics the Host Club get her into… WAIT ONE SECOND! WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?! My daughter ALONE with all those BOYS for a sleepover?! _I dropped the phone.

"Ranka-san?" said a Kyoyo's muffled voice, for the phone had landed on the carpet. Putting on a friendly ditzy tone, I picked it back up.

"What a fantastic idea Kyoyo! I hope you can help Haruhi with any of her school work UNTIL, I come too! Don't worry, I won't bother any of you, I'll just be there to observe. See you in three hours!" I added in an affectionate tone, before abruptly hanging up. _I WILL be there! For the protection of my little daughter's innocence!_

Rushing through the house, I gathered a pair of clean clothes for me and Haruhi, packed our toothbrushes, then our pajamas. Opening the front door as I was leaving, I encountered a small body blocking my path.

"Komari…what are you doing here?" I questioned. She was looking downcast, so it was pretty hard to read her expression.

"Actually, I was standing here through out your telephone conversation," she replied still looking down. "Is it true Haruhi isn't gonna be here tonight, Fujioka-san?"

Once Komari finally looked up, I found that she had tears running down her heart-shaped face. That one look sent me over the edge. _Poor Komari__…If only there was some way I could make this little angel feel better. _And that's when an idea struck me!

"Komari, how would you like to go and have a sleepover with Haruhi and some of her friends? First though, you have to ask your papa for permission."

The mini-Haruhi looked up with a new light in her eyes. Giggling happily, she streaked down the stairs and toward her house just across the street before I could even stand up! In just five minutes, she was packed and ready to go!

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Snapping his phone shut, Kyoyo stared blankly in front of him for a few moments until he heard an anxious cough. Turning around, he found the Host Club staring at him impatiently waiting for him to speak. And then he uttered the three words that everyone was dreading…

"Ranka is coming."

**Host Club POV**

OH. SHIT.

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I hope and PRAY that you guys like this chapter XD Please give me reviews VERY quickly! It's my life force! jk, jk


	3. Traffic Jams

**I'm a worthless idiot with only four reasons for not creating this chapter sooner! One: writer's block. Two: procrastination. Three: I was grounded. I really think this is a good one, if you don't, well poo on you! Four: I may be able to publish a book!!!! XD Isn't that fawsome?!**

**Okay, so even with those excuses, I myself think I was acting like a complete jack-ass! *quickly creates giant apology cake!* Forgive me wonderful reviewers!**

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**Kaoru's POV**

_Holy crap…. RANKA IS COMING FOR HARUHI?! _I just stood there in shock staring at baby Haruhi, none of this messed up day fully registering inside of my mind until that moment. Meanwhile I watched as she crawled toward me, a determined look on that tiny face. _She's… adorable_, I realized as the other's stared at me picking her up. Haruhi's skin was smooth just like a child's should be, but I've always thought her skin was soft and beautiful. _Even flushed in fury when Hikaru and I played tricks on her. The cheeks would turn a deep pink color and her large eyes became round and an enraged voice shouted after us as we would cowardly run away laughing._

"Get your vile hands off of my precious daughter!" Tono screamed, awakening everyone from this moment of shock.

He stormed up to me and snatched little Haruhi away. That caused her to let a wail of terror as the weird teenager grasped her.

"OI! Tono, made Haruhi cry!" Hikaru took her back and I began to pat the angel's little head attempting to calm her down.

Honey-sempai skipped up to my side with Mori-sempai trailing close behind. His usual stoic behavior faltered when the baby girl gripped his large finger. Soon enough, all the members of the host club, Kassanoda-kun, and Nekozowa-sempai were all crowding around the angelic child. The only exceptions to this little gathering was Tamaki-sempai, who was currently poking some rather oddly colored mushrooms in his emo corner, and the Shadow King who was presently speaking rapidly into his sleek black cell-phone. Haruhi's present attitude was far different from her regular fifteen year-old self.

Finally realizing the dire consequences' my brother and I have created by slipping that experimental liquid into our toy's tea, the situation gradually sunk in my mind as I stared at her now innocent doe-shaped eye's. _We have turned a scarier, older-version of Tamaki okama's daughter…. into an infant! Not to mention how Haruhi would murder us when-and if-she turned back into her oblivious teenage self! BUT-she can't complain if she can't speak…. _An evil smirk began to form on mine and Hikaru's face. It appeared our thought's were once again on the same wave-link.

**Third-Person POV**

The raven-haired teen quickly instructed his agent's, "Now remember, at every intersection Fujioka-san's car comes to, make sure there is a traffic jam. We must buy as much time as possible." with those final commands, he snapped his cell-phone shut.

To an outsider, his demeanor may have seem calm and collected, but to those who truly understood the frightening second-year, they would be sincerely scared for their very life's! His aura was positively radiating his inner fury!

Kyoya spun and addressed the cloaked third-year in a no-nonsense voice, "Nekozowa-san, if you have any ingredients for a remedy to this potion, I suggest you accompany myself to your club room and immediately create one."

**Ranka's POV**

"Why is there so much traffic today?!" I complained to the sweaty cab driver as I swiped my sweater sleeve across my fore-head.

Little Komari-chan had fallen asleep on my lap to the slow jazz buzzing from the static-filled radio. _For some reason, at every intersection there's been an accident and or blockade. _The first one; an ice-cream truck had crashed into a light pole, some fancy foreign car's engine broke down, and now some old man in an Italian suit and a vintage automobile caused multiple other vehicles to stall!


	4. A Disturbance in the Force

**I'm immensely sorry! I cannot believe that I was grounded! I honestly couldn't not get on! Please forgive oh tender-hearted reviewers! Just because I'm feeling lazy, and 'cause I am running out of time, I'm not going to write-type-about how they make the potion.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, nor any of it's character's. *goes off to cry***

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**Third Person POV**

The light phobic third year led the Shadow King down the many halls of Ouran's prestigious academy to his lair. The Black Magic Club room. Hopefully, the pair would be able to concoct a potion to fix their-uh-little problem. Nekozowa was fervently praying he could mix together a solution before the frightening second-year could dealt out a severe punishment that would surely put Satan to shame. Whilst Kyoya was praying they could find a cure before an equally scary tranny graced the Host Club tonight with his fatherly presence.

They briskly walked down the long corridors toward the black painted doors which, for some reason, creaked ominously when opened (which is quite odd considering the fact that everything in Ouran was cleaned, polished, and really-really shiny!). The sunset's red glow barely leaked into the dark, foreboding club room.

"After you, Ootori-san." Nekozowa motioned for the raven-haired teen to enter first.

Kyoya "hmm", pulled out his notorious note-book, and scribbled many unknown things before walking into the depths of the unknown world that was Black Magic (hopefully, he will come back out with all of his limbs intact).

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Meanwhile, back at the Third Music Room……

"No! It's my turn to play with Haru-chan!" whined a very unhappy Hunny at a towering Tamaki.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Hunny-sempai, but Haruhi is my precious daughter. I cannot just permit her to play willy-nilly while-HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOPPLE GANGERS DOING TO YOUR SISTER!?" tono screamed in blind fury.

The twins were currently holding the baby's hand's, and taking her picture. Haruhi was now sporting a brand new Hitachiin designer toddler outfit. It was bright pink with little frills at the end of her sleeve, white flowers covered the skirt, and a large pocket was centered over her chest. The blonde baka paused for a moment as his blue eye's took in this adorable sight, but he quickly fazed back to yelling the brothers.

Hunny started to cry as he realized that everyone was completely ignoring him. All the childish senior wanted was to play with sweet baby Haru-chan! When Mori saw that his cousin was sad, he stood up, and without warning, plucked the innocent child from the twin's grasp's.

The three bickering host's began to shout in protest, but then immediately shut up after seeing the fearsome glare they were given in return. Mori placed the angel with Hunny-sempai and sat down opposite the happy pair. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki currently occupied the mushroom infested emo corner.

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"Do not fear Haruhi! For your Papa is finally here!" Ranka burst forth out the uncomfortable cab, after flinging the money into the driver's face.

In the back round, confetti fell from the sky (God only knows where that came from) and an unknown crowd cheered, "Ranka! The Number One Dad! Ranka! The Number One Dad!" (Who the hell are these strangers?!). Komari stood at the side holding a giant foam finger with a big 1 on the front.

The unlikely couple stood for a few moments as silence greeted their apparently dramatic entrance. Crickets chirped, and a tumble weed blew by.

"Now… which way was that clubroom again?" Ranka questioned aloud. If this were an anime, Komari would currently be sporting a large sweat drop right about now.

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Deep inside the black nothingness that was the Black Magic Club's room, Kyoya received a cold shiver down his spine.

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**So, what do you guys think after my weeks of writer's block-err-I mean……… ah never mind! Just tell me what you think!**


	5. I Don't Know What to Name This Chapter

**Hello good people in fan fiction land! How are you this fine evening? (crickets chirp, someone coughs awkwardly). Alright, alright! I'll get on with the chapter!**

**Twins: Finally!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club nor it's character's. Only this plotline!**

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"Don't worry Komari-chan! We WILL find our dearest Haruhi in no time!" shouted a very confident father. While walking timidly behind Ranka was a timid girl, doubting of his every word.

"Ranka-san, are you sure you know where you're going?" the very unsure girl questioned the flamboyant father.

They were heading down a deserted hallway, the sun already clearly hidden behind the clouds and sinking farther down for a picturesque scenery. The walkway was also darkening quite a bit, but luckily (thanks to fancy-pantsy school) the overhead chandeliers lit up brightly. Normally, Ranka would've commented and chatted on about the radiant beauty of the grand institute for learning, but as of that moment he was to dedicated to finding his dearest daughter! Who knows what those BOYS could be doing to my angel while I'm away! Thus, began Ranka's inner-mind theater:

1... The curtains roll up.

2... A commercial plays.

3... The movie, BEGINS!

The opening starts, the camera slowly pans a fog-filled music room, and then it stops upon an assortment of rough-looking hood-looms. The host appear to wearing a yakuza fashioned uniform. The twins donned a pair over-sized sun-glasses and were chewing on the remains of a lollipop stick, Mori and Hunny were sporting matching leather jackets, Kyoya seemed pretty much the same save for the leopard print shirt, and lastly Tamaki wore a bright blue commoner uniform shirt and his blonde hair was now a pompadour (imagine Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho).

In the middle of the club, stood a shaking Haruhi. The frightened looking girl was wearing a frilly, pink, spaghetti-strap, sundress making for the perfect innocent little lamb. A white daisy was placed behind her ear.

"What-What are you going to do with me?" she questioned timidly.

Tamaki strode forward pompously and sat in a metal chair (Where did that come from?!) with his chest facing the back. "We're gonna play house."

The twin cronies chuckled evilly, Hunny smirked wickedly, Mori had an arrogant glint in his eye's, and Kyoya… just stood there taking notes.

"What do you mean… by house?" Haruhi's eye's widened.

"Hmmm, how should we explain this, Kyoya? How 'bout this? You are goin' to start callin' me "Papa"."

"You're no papa of mine! I already have a father!" the shocked 15 year-old grew some back-bone and defiantly retorted back.

The idiot king raised an eyebrow and seemed amused at her outburst. "Well, I am now! And you're going to learn to show some respect, my daughter."

With those last words, the host club began to descend upon helpless Haruhi! Then the over-reacting okama burst out his frantic mind-set with a scream of terror!

"NNOOOOOOOO! Haruhi! Fear not, for you real papa shall rescue you!" with a manly battle cry, Ranka fled down the corridor in lightening speed, leaving poor Komari-chan in the dust! The small child heaved a great sigh and started to jog after the manic cross dresser.

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"Haru-chan, Haru-chan! Do you want to play with Usa-chan?" Hunny shoved the pink bunny into the baby's face. Haruhi stared at the toy for a few short seconds, than tackled it to the ground laughing angelically. The cousins smiled contently at the adorable child, whilst the four emo teenagers watched longingly toward her from the corner.

"Why is she being so damned cute?!" the whispered, wanting desperately to join the other happy trio.

So they did! Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kassanoda completely forgot the fearsome gaze that Mori-sempai had given them and cooed lovingly at Haruhi along with Hunny-sempai. During Kyoya's departure with Nekozowa, everyone had taken several snap-shots with their center of attention for future reference and blackmail material. The Host Club was filled with a joyful and carefree atmosphere now that the Shadow-King, and the Black Magic club president were gone. The cheerful attitudes were then shattered when two people charged through the third music room doors.

"Where is she?!" a scary voice commanded.

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**OH! Who is are the mysterious people?! Will Haruhi speak next chapter?! When will Ranka find his daughter?!**

**Kyoya: But it's so obvious. Can we just tell them already and-**

**Me: NO!**

**Kyoya: (stares me down)**

**Me:….. Uh, heh heh heh. Please?**


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